nishlo:

tukut:

ur mom hands u a glass of orange juice. u take a sip. its not orange juice. its stirred egg yolks. u spit them all out. u ask ur mom why. she turns around. its not ur mom. its me. ur mom is gone. im ur mother now

these old spice commercials have been getting really crazy lately 

chvrizard:

unclefather:

this is the wrong color tricycle mom I hate you so much this is the worst birthday ever

Every time I see this picture it has a different caption and they just keep getting better and better

(Source: yeahiwasintheshit)

sherlockbringthejam:

kittenskaboodles:

ianthe:

headup-billybuddy:

the-future-mrs-solo:

whatheballs:

shavingryansprivates:

i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience

unless you experience my penis

I just choked on my food.

that’s not the only thing you’ll choke on

image

Don’t they usually put choking hazard warnings on really small things?

image

meisterful:

drochfaol:

ryancrobert:

sexybritishllama:

no cough syrup

you are not ‘grape flavoured’

have you ever tasted a grape

you taste like death and the tears of small children

not fucking grape

wow what a surprise another cis-gendered white upper-middle class american male telling someone what they can and cannot identify as. why don’t you go fuck yourself

#i can no longer tell what is and isn’t a joke on tumblr any more

image

pardonmewhileipanic:

mordicaifeed:

concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

regencyduchess:

Whilst in Sydney in 1994, a man apparently tries to assassinate Prince Charles. And not a single fuck was given by His Royal Highness.

THEY’RE ALL JUST STARING AND JUDGING

"How rude…this bodyguard just shoved me!"

I want to be this rich and indifferent one day

(Source: shewolfofengland)

dermythosdessisyphos:

wewillavenge-it:

nickiminiall:

isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other human beings?

Are you talking about prostitution, the movies, or airplane tickets?

glasses

svmadelyn:

thatrobotgirl:

automaticwoman:

hatebat:

kxsxy:

sizvideos:

Video

OH MY GOD NO

*punches the wall*

Ya’ll should really watch the video instead of see these gifs

WATCH IT THE ENDING IS SO FUCKING GREAT

OH MY GOD I FREAKED OUT watching this; don’t you break that dog’s heart

Oh god I didn’t watch it the first few times I saw it on my dash bc I knew it would break my heart but noooo its so cute!!!! Watch it!

svmadelyn:

thatrobotgirl:

automaticwoman:

hatebat:

kxsxy:

sizvideos:

Video

OH MY GOD NO

*punches the wall*

Ya’ll should really watch the video instead of see these gifs

WATCH IT THE ENDING IS SO FUCKING GREAT

OH MY GOD I FREAKED OUT watching this; don’t you break that dog’s heart

Oh god I didn’t watch it the first few times I saw it on my dash bc I knew it would break my heart but noooo its so cute!!!! Watch it!

graceebooks:

okatu:

pie eating contest?
nah son free pie


 my actual favorite post

graceebooks:

okatu:

pie eating contest?

nah son free pie

my actual favorite post

join-the-moriparty:

sexytimesonfire:

leonardo-dicaprisun:

al4skan:

im actually laughing so hard at this

tHE GUY WITH THE CAMERA HAS THE PUREST CANADIAN ACCENT I’VE EVER HEARD OMFG

Canadians are weird

is that big girls dont cry playing in the background

(Source: lceburgs)

1whiskers:

In case you aren’t watching every minute of training camp footage produced by BHTV, I’m here for you.

Lurking in the innocuously titled “Day 3, breaking camp” video is Jonny Toews rocking the infatuated eyes with the following quote: “I think he’s been skating a lot so I mean it’s just, same old Kaner, y’know. It seems like a lot of guys out there have to get back in that game mode where they get back up to speed, maybe shake off a little rust, doesn’t seem like Kaner has to go through that like the rest of us.”